Chapter I. Loomings
“Numquid me similem tuis effeminatis existimas?” —Saint Pelagius of Córdoba
“Well, obviously, Milo Yiannopoulos was the hottest thing in Libertarian-Conservative politics in 2014, ’15, ’16, and then the System shut him down and cut him off.”
—Alex Jones1
Milo’s a hard man to categorize. Part journalist, part performance artist, part agent provocateur, part comedian and wit, Yiannopoulos is a man of immense and complex self contradiction. He’s half-Greek and half-Irish, but is known as an Englishman to the Americans with whom he has communicated extensively. He’s gay, and Jewish by descent. He married his long-term boyfriend, an African-American man, in Hawaii, in 2017, but faces frequent accusations of racism. He is—or was—strangely attractive to young American Republicans, and completed a successful and controversy-ridden tour of US universities in 2016-2017. […] [H]e was one of the most well-known internet celebrities, let’s say, on the political front, and caused more uproar than any other single person that I can think of.
—Jordan Peterson2
“So I have an intern that was raped by a priest as a young teen, was gay, has offended everyone at some point, turned his life back to Jesus and Church, and changed his life. Great story!”
—Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene3
Lᴇᴛ ᴜs sᴇᴛ ᴀ sᴄᴇɴᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ:—(Honolulu, Hawaii) On a balmy bright blue day, miles and miles off a tropical coast aglitter with sunkissed skyscrapers, there sits in a trailerable motorboat and short-shorts Mɪʟᴏ Yɪᴀɴɴᴏᴘᴏᴜʟᴏs, snifflingly. His unkempt, yellowy frizz paired with his flushed, sunburnt cowhide give him the overall appearance of a mac-n’-cheese-stuffed lobster. He clutches at a half-sucked gallon of Ketel One “Grapefruit & Rose” Botanical in one hand and chain-smokes Newports—“licking the chops of memory”4—in the other. The only whitecaps on the water today are his Styrofoam teeth, which flash in fitful grimaces ambiguously; his mien cloaked by a pair of aviators.
After surviving the Icarian wreckage of his fledgling career as a media gimp (viz., when his pederastible gaffe came back to bite him on the lovemaker in 2017),5 and then, having staggered into the long, bitter shadows of Trump’s 2020 bust—“I lost everything helping to put Trump in office. My life and career were completely destroyed. Was it worth it? No.”6—Milo Yiannopoulos returned to headlines in the spring of 2021, when he publicly recanted the splashy gay lifestyle that once garnered him so much viral notoriety.78 To put a bow on it, the retired coal furnace filmed the disposal of his gay wedding ring—so much for his “Fruit or Flowers” anniversary!—and uploaded the footage to YouTube on April 30th, with the premature title “Ex-Gay Milo Tosses $150K Engagement Ring Into the Ocean.”
“It’s called the ‘Sodomy Stone.’ That’s the name I’ve given to the gigantic engagement ring I bought myself9 as part of a union I now regard as somewhat infernal,”10 he said with resteeled religious zeal.
Yiannopoulos pilgrimaged to the Aloha State, originally planning to chuck the loot into the mouth of an active volcano, LOTR-style, but Big Island helicopter tours couldn’t guarantee the proximity requisite for a successful toss (nor a melty close-up). And so, chartering a boat and shaving his legs for the camera, our adaptable hero settled on pitching his mortgageable collateral into the drink instead, in what he’d have us believe was his last stint of flyfishing.
Since we last saw him—sometime in 2019—conducting bizarro interviews with Trump-loving furries and rising schlocksters like Ricky Rebel11 as the mouthy, glitter-blazered host of Friday Night’s All Right on kiss-and-teller Gavin McInnes’s Censored.TV,12 Yiannopoulos has reflected on his circumstances; his papist sanctimony has waxed still stinkier.
In his words, regarding the “sodomy stone;—”
The more I looked at this gigantic four-karat money pit, the more I thought this is the perfect example of some of the lies I bought into in my previous life. For instance, the lie that I could be a rabid culture warrior for the right and a sodomite at the same time. I can’t.13
KERSPLASH! Cue the ironical music, “My Heart Will Go On!”14
“Anyone who’s read me closely over the past decade must surely have seen this coming,” said MILO—“he always went by his first name, like Cher or Madonna”15—in a later interview.16 “I wasn’t shy about dropping hints.”17 Perhaps we superfans were thrown by that fat red herring, his three plus years of fag marriage.
That said, let’s now return to the lie which Yiannopoulos claims he could no longer live,—“the lie that [he] could be a rabid culture warrior for the right and a sodomite at the same time. [He] can’t.” Here we ask our question,—is that a description of a personal shortcoming, or a thesis on a universal inability?
If it is a personal shortcoming, it’s certainly a newfound one. After all, MILO was the dangerous faggot whom Glenn “Weeping Willow”18 Beck called Cheetoh Hitler’s “Goebbels”;1920 the Breitbart bruiser whose headlines Mrs. Bill Clinton recited to badauds at a campaign rally for shock value;21 the gadget-savvy gadfly whose column on sex robots the late Rush Limbaugh, the biggest name in talk radio22 and the 2020 Presidential Medal of Freedom recipient, read aloud on air.23 In fact, Yiannopopulist not only introduced the “alt-right” to the conservative mainstream24 but also chauffeured Trump (the Frog Candidate) into the Oval Orifice, very nearly single-handedly. And he did all this, and more, while enjoying generous, regular helpings of black dick.
If he can’t be a rabid culture warrior for the right and a sodomite at the same time, how did MILO eke out such a successful “double life” hitherto?
On the other hand, if it is a universal inability then his and our dilemma is best described in a callout of “gay conservatives” by Doug Mainwaring, a typist for papacy fanzine LifeSiteNews. Having unrigorously interviewed our subject on his big sodomy volte-face, Mainwaring concludes that Yiannopoulos, in fact, confronted the same ineluctable impasse which lies down the road for even the incorrigiblest of homocons.
“High-profile, politically engaged conservative men who identify as ‘gay,’” he writes,
could learn a lot from the intellectual honesty and integrity of Milo Yiannopoulos, who has left the world of sodomy and the cortege of lies and partial truths that follow in its train.
Former Ambassador and National Security Director Richard Grenell, FOX News commentators Guy Benson and Chadwick Moore, “Walk Away” Movement founder Brandon Straka, outspoken pro-Trump activists Scott Presler and Christian Walker, and others – although brilliant, successful men – have not yet tapped into the intellectual curiosity and honesty necessary to reject the “born this way” lie which now defines them. Homosexuality remains a stumbling block, stalling their trajectory beyond political truth toward bigger, preeminent ones.
In this one way, their personal lives serve as obstructions, hindering the flow of maximum truth into the world as they continue to resist both science and nature. They cling to an impoverished self- and worldview, leading to diminished personal lives and contributing to our pauperized American culture.25
Are there shoots of thought inherent in conservatism that must rise into transcendental values, Christian values? Forgetting MILO for a minute,—and that happily,—we can take a peek at chez Mainwaring to glimpse at what these “bigger, preeminent” truths might be. Dougie’s blogs make great examples, because being true to stereotype, he’s a recloseted-case himself.
Of course, “the flow of maximum truth into the world” (or at least onto LifeSiteNews) merely amounts to Mainwaring’s shabby breeder fanfics, like his cunning observation that “Gay Olympians are accidentally proving why same-sex ‘marriage’ is wrong.”
The three “out” gay male figure skaters in this year’s Winter Olympics are partnered with women, not men, precisely because their sport is wholly reliant on complementarity.
Without the complementarity of the male and female skaters, the event ceases to exist.
Yet much of the world has been blinded to the fact that this very natural truth applies even more to marriage than it does to skating.
These gay skaters know it innately: They wouldn’t have an Olympic event if they didn’t have a female partner. Gays––and the entire world which admires the beauty of these couple’s performances––understand that. And so despite being same-sex attracted, despite the demands of LGBT ideology, they choose not a same-sex partner, but a woman.26
A self-described “marriage, family, and children’s rights activist,” many of Mainwaring’s pieces continue in this same vein, extolling the wonders of heterosexual coupling from a place—or so we locate it—of frustrated spectatorship. He’s like a rabid sports nut who, confined to the bleachers, slonks glizzies in record time to induce a winning play, hoping to sublimate his envy by phantom participation.
Needless to say, if heterosexuality is so natural, it hardly needs his encouragement.
As Mainwaring mentions in his encomium of the Dangerous Ex-Faggot, “It’s only within the framework – the splendid truth – of complementarity [of the sexes] that men and women become fully human.”27 So never mind being stalled as developing politicos, it follows that “conservative men who identify as ‘gay’” aren’t even “fully human” until they achieve Mainwaring’s own grim sexlessness (barring the sought-after miracle of transformation to happy straighthood, of course).
But there is hope, exemplified by Yiannopoulos who
explained in a recent video, “It’s a year from the day I said I was going to put sodomy and lust behind me and live more closely to God’s wishes for me, and since I did that, everything in my life has begun to get better.”28
Dogs no longer bark at him, he says. He doesn’t like spoilers anymore, he says.
“My followers,” Yiannopoulos told Mainwaring, “have been giving me a crash course in all-American straight guy aesthetics, which apparently include growing a mullet and learning to drive stick.”29
Everything is turning up roses but MILO’s career, however, which is pushing up daisies.—
When he claimed that Yiannopoulos “may well trigger more outrage now that he describes himself as ‘Ex-Gay’ and ‘sodomy free,’”30 Mainwaring was at least correct about the initial press.31 But the followup since the redebut has been mediocre, flaccid.
Banned everywhere else on social media,32 Yiannopoulos is currently holed up on Telegram where we decided lately to perform a wellness check. In addition to posting copious videos of his cats (presumably these are the dogs who don’t bark at him), he’s busy slinging the usual mud, promoting Flat-Earthism,33 and still harping on the same bugbears. It seems that, along with sodomy, he’s tossed aside his edge and acuity, but he’s held onto his trademark grudges.
While cashing in on his redeemability might grant him a new audience to fleece, it won’t recover the general influence he lost, nor restore him to the MILO he was.
Nevertheless, Yiannopportunist’s transition from gayboi to godman couldn’t be better timed to exploit changing tailwinds in popular populist opinion. His “ex-gay” stunt serves as an ominous bellwether to the rest of us fashy swishes,34 left-on-the-lurch, who can’t—or won’t—kick the habit.
The young rightoids of the moment, whose moral moods determine these tailwinds, are once-bitten-and-twice shy over Trump, “the Great White Hope.” (Overlook the calamities and injustices of J6.35 Both DACA and DAPA still survived Trump’s first day as prez.) And so, young American Repubs are looking higher than heads of state to find solutions for social ills. Indeed, they’re a breed apart from the “fun, mischievous, dissident, punk, trolly, good looking, fashionable”36 twitter tantrists and meme magicians of MILO’s geyday. Exit ᴛʜᴇ ᴀɴᴛɪ-sᴊᴡs; enter ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴏʏᴘᴇʀs.
“Milo Yiannopoulos || Returning to Catholicism and Overcoming Homosexuality” (reuploaded on Feb 22, 2022) https://www.bitchute.com/video/3xGQUGJ4enIs/
Taken from a transcript of Peterson’s introduction to his interview with MILO, in the video description to be found here; edited by us to sound coherent.
“Her office did not respond to questions about Yiannopoulos’s duties for his internship, but in a statement provided to The Washington Post and other publications, Greene said: [see above.]” Bryan Pietsch & John Wagner, “Milo Yiannopoulos, far-right provocateur, is a Marjorie Taylor Greene intern” (The Washington Post, Jun 7, 2022). https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2022/06/07/milo-yiannopoulos-intern-marjorie-taylor-greene/
MILO: “I’m a Newport Lights guy. Smoke for the man you want—as was!” (The disadvantage of his ex-gay shtick, it’s outmoded most of his self-deprecatory comic material.) Uncensored America, “MILO YIANNOPOULOS vs. DESTINY: Christian Nationalism Debate | University of Tennessee” (Youtube) At 47:50.
German Lopez, “The fall of Milo Yiannopoulos, explained” (Vox, Feb 21, 2017). https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/2/20/14673036/milo-yiannopoulos-cpac-pedophilia-tape
“I lost everything helping to put Trump in office. My life and career were completely destroyed. Was it worth it? No. I feel utterly betrayed. I will have vengeance.” Yiannopoulos qtd. in Mey Rude, “Milo Yiannopoulos: ‘I Lost Everything Helping Put Trump in Office’” (Advocate, Dec 14, 2020). https://www.advocate.com/politics/2020/12/14/milo-yiannopoulos-i-lost-everything-helping-put-trump-office
The plight of women whose earning power outclasses that of their romantic partners, is publicized well enough, but has anyone taken the time to consider the woes of bottoms in the workforce?
“Ex-Gay Milo Tosses $150K Engagement Ring Into the Ocean.” (Archived.) At 00:00:05.
To quote Mr. Rebel’s (né Godinez) puzzling statement at the 61st Grammies, “I’m reflecting millions of Americans out there who voted for Trump. Keep America great. That’s right, baby. We are here. We’re here all around the world, 50 million of us. My name is Ricky Rebel and I’m a reflection of America.”
Vice Founder-and-Sellout Goblin MackGaynus’s network, which backbiting MILO, on his former sodomite way out the door in 2021, claimed was financially insolvent (although it’s still online and producing content as of April ’24). Read more: https://www.salon.com/2021/05/13/proud-boy-founder-gavin-mcinnes-far-right-media-site-apparently-collapsing/
So it’s pronounced “ray-bid,” is it? Practice your diction with us, reader at 00:01:02. (“Ex-Gay Milo,” op. cit.)
The editors really did include it because, you know, meta-irony!—performance art!—everything is a joke-upon-a-joke! At 00:02:23. (Ibid.)
This quote, though apt, comes from a completely different article, describing a completely different man, New Thought lecturer and Christian mystic Neville Goddard. See: James J. O’Meara, “The Secret of Trump’s A Peale” (Counter Currents, Mar 21, 2016). https://counter-currents.com/2016/03/the-secret-of-trumps-a-peale/
Mainwaring, “Activist Milo Yiannopoulos is now ‘Ex-Gay,’ consecrating his life to St. Joseph” (LifeSiteNews, March 9, 2021). https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/activist-milo-yiannopoulos-is-now-ex-gay-consecrating-his-life-to-st-joseph/
Ibid.
Does anybody remember Beck’s interview with Baba Wawa? The “tree question?”
Breitbart News, “Glenn Beck: Breitbart’s Milo Yiannopoulos ‘Goebbels,’ His ‘Evil’ Trump Twitter Defense ‘Poison to the Republic’,” https://www.breitbart.com/the-media/2016/03/28/glenn-beck-breitbarts-milo-yiannopoulos-goebbels-his-evil-trump-twitter-defense-poison-to-the-republic/ (Breitbart News March 28, 2016).
For an added dose of bygone in-fighting, get a load of this. Brad Reed, “Glenn Beck piles on ‘hurt 13-year-old boy’ Milo Yiannopoulos: ‘You have become that bully’,” (Raw Story, Sept 5, 2016) https://www.rawstory.com/2016/09/glenn-beck-piles-on-hurt-13-year-old-boy-milo-yiannopoulos-you-have-become-a-bully/ Emphasis added.
Via Mediaite, Beck piled on Yiannopoulos this week in a Facebook post where he called out Milo for acting like a “hurt 13-year-old boy” [Good guess, Glenn!] after he whined about getting his Twitter account banned in the wake of his harassment campaign against comedian Leslie Jones.
“I don't know what pain you had to go through to make you so cold and distant from any feelings of compassion and basic kindness [of course, being a good Christian who wants the best for children, Beck can assume it’s something to do with MILO’s homosexuality] but causing hurt makes you into the monster you are running from,” Beck wrote of Yiannopoulos's defense of his harassment campaigns against others. “You can hide behind anything that helps you sleep... but at some point you will come to the realization that you have become that bully that hurt you so deeply in the past.”
For the record, it's never been clear just how sincere Yiannopoulos is about any of his views, as he mostly seeks to stir the pot in an effort to draw attention to himself.
“Birth Control Makes Women Unattractive and Crazy,” & “Would You Rather Your Child Had Feminism or Cancer?” See: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/08/25/hillary-clintons-alt-right-speech-annotated/
“I think I just happen to be saying what a whole lotta people think but don’t have a chance to say themselves,” says Limbaugh (1951-2021) in this 60 Minutes spot from 1991. Have you ever heard that line before from a Conservative pundit whose speech runs à rebours of the Narrative?
Don’t let’s forget there was something very camp, too, about Limbaugh (playing gunshot sound effects over a clip of Andy Williams's “Born Free” as the lead-in to his animal rights segments as just one example), the man who, as everybody knows, got his sense of humor from his bubbly mother, rather than his stiff lawyer father.
Also relayed in the 60 Minutes segment, Limbaugh was the target of a special task force for GLAAD; the chair of said task force was featured to discuss the longevity of Limbaugh’s program. In the clip, the poor weirdo was positively gooning at the thought it wouldn’t last and so was the shop teacher he interviewed.
Interesting that a fag’s take on the technologically-induced end of heterosexualism should garner such high praise from “the Big Voice on the Right.” See: Breitbart TV, “Rush Limbaugh Discusses Breitbart Article on ‘Sexbots’ and Feminism,” (Breitbart News, Sept 16, 2015). https://www.breitbart.com/clips/2015/09/16/rush-limbaugh-discusses-breitbart-article-on-sexbots-and-feminism/
See: Allum Bokhari and Milo Yiannopoulos, “An Establishment Conservative’s Guide To The Alt-Right” (Breitbart News, Mar 29, 2016) https://www.breitbart.com/tech/2016/03/29/an-establishment-conservatives-guide-to-the-alt-right/
Doug Mainwaring, “‘Gay’ conservatives: You can learn from Milo’s intellectual honesty and integrity” (LifeSiteNews, July 15, 2021). https://www.lifesitenews.com/blogs/gay-conservatives-you-can-learn-from-milos-intellectual-honesty-and-integrity/
Mainwaring, “Gay Olympians are accidentally proving why same-sex ‘marriage’ is wrong” (LifeSiteNews, Feb 16, 2018). https://www.lifesitenews.com/blogs/gay-olympians-are-accidentally-proving-why-same-sex-marriage-is-wrong/
Mainwaring, “‘Gay’ conservatives: You can learn from Milo’s intellectual honesty and integrity” (LifeSiteNews, July 15, 2021). https://www.lifesitenews.com/blogs/gay-conservatives-you-can-learn-from-milos-intellectual-honesty-and-integrity/
Ibid.
Mainwaring, “Activist Milo Yiannopoulos is now ‘Ex-Gay,’ consecrating his life to St. Joseph” (LifeSiteNews, March 9, 2021). https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/activist-milo-yiannopoulos-is-now-ex-gay-consecrating-his-life-to-st-joseph/
Ibid.
See: Dan Tracer, “Milo Yiannopoulos says he’s no longer gay in eye-rolliest interview ever” (Queerty, March 9, 2021). https://www.queerty.com/milo-yiannopoulos-says-hes-no-longer-gay-eye-rolliest-interview-ever-20210309
Or likelier, in your followers’ list under incognito.
Celebrating that “American parents are turning away from male circumcision” is a big turnaround for our homeboy. See MILO’s previous thoughts on bodily integrity: Milo Yiannopoulos, “No One Wants To Live In A World Of Uncircumcised Penises” (Breitbart News Europe, May, 28, 2015) https://www.breitbart.com/europe/2015/05/28/no-one-wants-to-live-in-a-world-of-uncircumcised-penises/
Don’t let’s forget that the word “faggot” and the word “fascist” are etymologically linked, from the Latin “fascis,”—what exposes an American’s political disposition is whether he wants the former or the latter burned alive.
MILO: “I did get a visit from the FBI before January 6th. They came to my front door. They said, ‘Do not go to Washington.’ […] Lots of other people got visits too. [...] Gavin McInnes got a visit. Roger Stone got a visit. They just didn’t talk about it. They only told me. I probably shouldn’t have said it.” Gloyper Clips, “Steve Franssen Asks Milo Yiannopoulos Tough Questions” (Alt Censored, Jan 5, 2022) https://altcensored.com/watch?v=vs6_4ErS8Dw 00:44:07 through 00:44:27.
As MILO has often said elsewhere, if you’re effective the powers that be will try to wipe you out—so what does it mean when they look out for you?
Yiannopoulos’s preferred adjectives for the chronically online contingent of the then new alt-right: https://mynorthwest.com/516684/love-or-hate-milo-yiannopoulos/